How Two Jewish Holidays Teach Resilience

Resilience image with a violet growing in a sidewalk crack

Resilience is a key predictor of adult success, but it is an elusive concept to explain, especially to children. There are examples of it when you encourage your child to dust themselves off and get back on their bike, or when the birthday party plans were rained out and you had to switch to Option B. (Or pretty much every experience during the pandemic!) These are times when we pass on the message: “This, too, shall pass.”

Two Jewish observances this month bring this idea into focus:

Tisha B’Av (the 9th of the Hebrew month of Av): a day of mourning, commemorating the destruction of the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem and other disasters. It starts at sundown on Saturday, August 6th this year.

Tu B’Av (the 15th of Av): the Jewish Day of Love, which has both biblical roots and a modern resurgence. It starts at sundown on Thursday, August 11th this year.

These two holidays are a study in contrasts as we go from commemorating loss to celebrating love. Both have a place in Judaism, and both are necessary on their own and in juxtaposition. By not shying away from bitter experiences but instead using them to take pride in our ability to survive and flourish, we can harness the practice that builds resilient children. You can start when children are young, changing the conversation to match their developmental stage as they get older.

Some of my favorite books about resilience to read aloud include Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes by Eric Litwin; The Questioneers series, such as Rosie Revere, Engineer by Andrea Beaty; and Ish by Peter Reynolds. Find more books in this handy list that has suggestions for every age.

I would love to know about your experience modeling resilience for your children. And if you are looking for ways to mark these two holidays, check out our PJ Grandparents page for ideas to do as a family!

To resilience!
Sarah

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