Home » Families » PJ Library Grandparents: Tisha B’Av and Tu B’Av

PJ Library Grandparents:
Commemorating Tisha B’Av and Celebrating Tu B’Av

Each summer, there are two Jewish holidays that are a study in contrasts:

Tisha B’Av (the 9^th of the Hebrew month of Av): a day of mourning, commemorating the destruction of the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem and other disasters. It starts at sundown on Monday, August 12^th this year.

Tu B’Av (the 15^th of Av): the Jewish Day of Love, which has both biblical roots and a modern resurgence. It starts at sundown on Sunday, August 18^ththis year.

Having the extremes of mourning and love juxtaposed so closely in the calendar makes sense when you think about Jewish resilience over the centuries. Finding joy, humor, and light after dark experiences shows each successive generation how to move on while not forgetting the past. It teaches children to try again and keep going. My Bubbie (my paternal great-grandmother) experienced the horrors of pogroms in Kyiv just after the start of the 20th century. We knew the story and could still see the scars on her body, but we also saw her strength and determination not to let the Cossacks continue to beat her. She is who I think of when I’m reeling between the emotions of these two holidays and why I think it’s important to recognize both.

We also have some ideas for additional ways you can celebrate Tisha B’Av and Tu B’Av with your grandchild in person or at a distance.

Jump to the section you want:

Tips for Connecting Around These Holidays
Holiday Resources

Tips for Connecting Around Tisha B’Av and Tu B’Av

To help your family observe both holidays, we have compiled some ideas for multigenerational connections to keep your family close, no matter how far apart you live!

Practice Tikkun Olam (Repairing the World): Tisha B’Av can be a difficult holiday to explain to young children. These books can help children learn about and make a connection to ancient Israel. For a modern-day commemoration, teach your grandchildren about tikkun olam (repairing the world), which is the idea that each of us can do something to make the world better. The books Light by Jane Breskin Zalben and Gathering Sparks by Howard Schwartz explain this practice of fixing a broken world in an accessible way for children. Brainstorm how you and your grandchild can each do something to show kindness, do it, and then report back to each other on it if you’re not doing it together!

Practice Ahava (Love): Children express and understand love through action, such as helping behaviors, requests for time, and snuggly experiences. The Hebrew word for love is ahava (אַהֲבָה, pronounced ah-hah-VAH). Teach the word and put it into practice by spending dedicated time with your grandchild, perhaps by planning an afternoon of fun together.

Send Love Notes: Send a note or card to your grandchild, letting them know why you love them. You can also work on a surprise for their parents by working with your grandchild to create a love letter for them where you both can share what you love about the parent(s)!

Use Books as Conversation Starters: There are some great stories of children, parents, and grandparents showing loving relationships. (We are big fans of Good Night, Laila Tov by Laurel Snyder; Lights Out Shabbat by Sarene Shulimson; and Tea with Zayde by Barney Saltzberg!) Read these together (in person, sharing an electronic version over a Zoom chat, or making sure each of you has a copy to look at while you read it over video chat) and start a conversation:

How do the adults in this book show their love to the children?
How do the children in this book show love to the adults?
Did this book remind you of something you’ve done with your family before?
Did this book give you an idea of something you’d like to do as a family?

Interview Each Other: Use this Grandfriend Interview Guide (or make your own!) to have you and your grandchild answer the same questions about your likes and dislikes to find common ground and celebrate uniqueness.

Share Your Love Thoughts: Fill out the Love Thoughts Guide for each grandchild, and have them fill it out for you to create a beautiful record of your special bond!